29 June 2011

My Second Top 11

I was lucky to share part of my childhood with a sandy-haired boy and his striped feline friend.  The former was diminuitive of stature, but possessed a compensatory boldness of spirit, while the latter was world-wise, yet often cynical.  Between the two and their animated discussions of life, philosophy, tradition, parenthood, childhood, and what it means to be human, it frequently forced the issue of where the idealism truly lay in each issue, and in each one of us.  I'm speaking, of course, of my good friends, Calvin and Hobbes.

It occurred to me that, though I have partaken of the sagacity that Bill Watterson proffered in his daily benefactions, I have not yet made full recompense of the debt.  Therefore, dear readers, as part of my immolation to the nostalgia gods, I lay before you:

The Top 11...
Life Lessons I Learned From Reading Calvin and Hobbes

11.   Wearing your favorite rocketship underpants doesn't guarantee a good day, but it doesn't hurt, either.
10.   Girls are G.R.O.S.S.
9.   It doesn't matter how much of Dad's so-called "character" it builds, the damage to body, mind, or soul is far worse.
8.   Sometimes, the only rule that makes sense is not allowing rules.
7.   Bullies and nighttime monsters may break your bones, but they can never take away your stinging repartee.
6.   You can tell your best friend anything.
5.   Always remember to compliment Mom on her dinner meal, unless it starts singing off-key.
4.   When stranded in the late Cretaceous, knowing all of the predators of a ferocious pterosaur is more useful than knowing who invented the cotton gin.
3.   Only insufferable suburban elitists bother combing their hair.
2.   If you ever get lost, the worst that can happen is you end up in the Yukon.  (not so bad...)

And the number 1 life lesson learned from reading Calvin and Hobbes...
1.   Only comic strip characters have just one alter ego.

There you have it.  These life lessons have served me well; may they guide you to a more fulfilling and babysitter-free future.

And with this post, I equal the total number of last year's posts this year, at the halfway point.  Far from being a real milestone, I just hope to keep up the stamina and interest for another 59 posts over the next six months.

No comments:

Post a Comment