"I'm sure Mr. Nelson [doesn't want to listen to your problems, he] would rather go home, eat tortilla soup and watch TV."
Maybe this bit needs just a little explanation: my Iron Band gaggle and I had just finished playing a memory game, used for the purposes of introduction, where we were all required to state our name and favorite foods. I declared mine to be tortilla soup, which confounded a few of the students, whose other choices were Kittitian staples like chicken & chips, Chinese food, sōp (that's how to pronounce 'soup' here), goat water, and cookup, among other things. And this girl, when she was putting one of her peers "in his place," explained to him, incorrectly, that I was less interested in sticking around after practice to discuss one of his concerns. Of course, I quickly rectified the situation, but I couldn't help but laugh at her comment.
I've been struggling mightily with loneliness the past week. Not usually one to dwell on emotions, I nonetheless can't seem to escape the painful feeling of emptiness that resides, omnipresent, in my gut. (And before you say so, I don't think it's just hunger this time.) My desire for some form of close companionship has recently supplanted my need for broader social circles, which I have managed to see bear fruit this calendar year. And I'm very thankful for that, but in turn my spirit's gaze has moved on to a more personal need.
To use a metaphor, I've been presented with a number of doors since my arrival on island, but God has seen fit to close all of them so far, which has had a less-than-delightful effect on my self esteem. And while it still can get me down, I have managed to find a positive way to counteract the negative effects: asking my friends, especially the lady friends, to keep a weather eye open for other potential candidates. And without exception, this is met with enthusiasm; as it turns out, not only does my friendship with these lovely people carry some weight, but, quite simply, they love playing matchmaker! So I'm able to turn around my disappointment with the circumstances infringing on my pursual into a positive experience we can share as friends.
And I know what some would say: "You need to focus on the task at hand, and not these frivolous things." Well, I see the long-term wisdom in that, of course, and ultimately I don't want to sacrifice any time, effort, or resources on short-term or nonpermanent pursuits. And so my prayer is, at the last, for God to either fulfill this desire common to all of us, or else squelch it for the time-being, in only the way that He can.
Frankly, I'm hoping for a little insight from the Stones.
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